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Sunday, June 29, 2008

Advertisments... a new low

Tonight Sallie and I went to the theater to see "Wanted" (Which is a great comic adaptation movie, go see it if you don't mind cursing and obscene violence) and the advertisements before the movie were possible some of the worst I've ever seen.

First on the chopping block was an ad for the new season of "Saving Grace." Anyone that watches the show probably was excited when they saw their heroine (I'm assuming it was Grace, they didn't explain it) walking through a desert for thirty seconds until she comes upon a menacing looking Native American. They look each other in the eyes and then smile. End of advertisement. Like I said before, the fan base probably loved the ad, but they're going to watch the show anyway. The reason for having an ad in the first place is to convert new customers.

Next was ABC's newest golden egg laying goose called "Dirty Sexy Money." Yes, the title says it all. ABC ran a 45 second trailer of gorgeous looking, bad actors rubbing on each other and expensive cars. Soft core porn will only bring in a certain crowd... and that certain crowd won't watch for long if there can't be nudity. I want to see the desperate higher ups at ABC that approved that piece of trash.

Third was a company that is notorious for horrible commercials. You might know their television ads from the close up on the "Vitamin Water" bottle while a guy with a megaphone screams at you to drink "Vitamin Water." Their theatrical debut featured an old Russian coach trying to get American athletes in shape by training them and making them drink their high calorie sugar water. (That's the Vitamin Water I'm referring to for those that didn't get it. Check the nutrition facts.) Eventually the athletes were able to overcome this angry Russian, essentially telling potential customers that drinking "Vitamin Water" will help you overcome the elderly... or perhaps drinking "Vitamin Water" will make you want to compete with the elderly.

All three of these commercials reminded me of a piece of graffiti I saw on the way back to Myrtle Beach. In the middle of nowhere South Carolina (literally like 100 miles from the nearest major city in the middle of the Smokie Mountains) scribbled in poor cursive, it merely said "Pretzel." I don't know who "Pretzel" is, but he trekked out into the middle of the woods to claim his "turf" where I'm sure the bare minimum of gang warfare happens. Essentially he preached to a crowd that either didn't care or didn't understand, and didn't even make his mark beautiful. My point is, the producers of "Saving Grace," "ABC," and "Vitamin Water" could've hired Pretzel to do the same job, and he would've done it for much cheaper. A can of spray paint might cost a couple bucks compared to the thousands of dollars spent to make the short adverts and then buy the space at the Cinemark movie theaters.

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