I figured its time to lighten the mood in these blogs. As of late they've been filled with ridiculous adventures, censored curse words, and fire breathing dragons. Today I will chronicle great bathroom reads.
First on my list is Nick Horby's "Songbook" which is a collection of essays about pop music since the seventies all the way to about four years ago. Horby obviously knows much about music (he wrote High Fidelity) and he has an interesting take on the industry and formulas accompanying pop stars. The chapters are about three-ten pages long. Some might require several toilet sessions to finish.
Second on the list is either Kevin Smith book, "My Boring Ass Life" or "Silent Bob Speaks." Both books are essentially a collection of his blogs. These are both recommended for the heavy sitters. (I said "sitters" not the other one. I'm still trying to keep this blog PG) Silent Bob Speaks is written more in an essay form and flows a little bit easier. He talks about his man crush on his good friend Ben Affleck, his love for Jersey, and his hate for Reese Witherspoon. Although the chapters are a bit longer, something like 10 pages on average, you'll want to continue to sit on the pot to finish it. "My Boring Ass Life" is much long, give a lot more information about the man, but it also follows him day by day and sometimes you just don't have anything to say. You might get a chapter that essentially says "I woke up, played online poker, went to bed." Let me tell you the sweet irony of reading about him taking a dump while you are. And if you are a heavy sitter, his stories about his anal fissure will definitely have you forcing your business out to get off the pot.
Third is this series of books call "Weird.... (Insert State Here)" where a local author of that state travels around looking for strange houses, crazy lawn ornaments, hauntings, farmers who claim to be abducted by UFOs, abandoned houses, and strange monuments. I've read "Weird Illinois" and "Weird Carolinas" and I must say Illinois is a much stranger and interesting place. Each story is about 1-3 pages long which allow plenty of time to finish. The large pictures of the anomalies will cause you to pause, and enjoy what you're looking at.
Comic books are also a great read. I suggest some anthonlogy of a Sunday comic strip like "The Far Side," "Zits," "The Boondocks," or my favorite "Calvin and Hobbes." Calvin and Hobbes will leave you laughing while you do your business, which might slow down the process, but trust me its well worth it.
Finally this young up and comer Dan Story I hear is pretty good. His stuff is rare and pricey, but his humor and insight will make you want to poop twenty times a day. His witty characters and top ten lists will keep you coming back for more.
3 years ago