Wednesday, November 24, 2010

The Evil Twin

We’re creatures of habit. Do you remember in grade school, the first time the teacher didn’t have assigned seating. You felt liberated. This must’ve been what it was like when we declared freedom from the British. Fireworks went off, anthems were sang, and the stars and stripes flew high.

And then you picked your seat and stayed in that seat the rest of the year.

If any new kid came in, and you found him in your seat, something boiled inside you. You started sweating. You’ll take another seat for now, but you won’t feel comfortable the rest of the day, and mentally note that you need to get to school earlier tomorrow, so you can reclaim what is yours.

There’s a spot that the guards let me park that is near the entrance to the garage. I’m supposed to be able to park in bike racks according to the rules set for motorized scooters, but their bike racks are in bad places. So we have an understanding that I can park in this special spot off to the side.

Recently someone started riding their motorcycle to work. Not only did some jerk start riding his motorcycle at the end of November, but he started parking in my spot so that I have to park 3 levels up in the garage. I just want to kick his motorcycle down.

I’ve been dealing with that over the past two weeks. I was coping pretty well actually, until today.

There’s one particular shower that I like to use at the gym. It has the best temperature control and seems to get the best water stream from it. It’s also off to the side, so not a lot of people use it. (Plus I go to the gym before the lunch rush usually starts.) So I don’t have disgusting body hair all over the shower or that bandaid that always is on the ground.

Today someone was in there.

My brain stopped thinking about motor functions and my present surroundings. Instead, I thought, it’s the same guy. I have an evil twin trying to inconvience me in life. Soon I’m going to come home from work and he’ll be sleeping on my side of the bed. Or he’s going to finish off the milk and leave the carton in the fridge.

Then I went into another fantasy where I jump kick him through the shower curtain. I grab his head and bash it into the tiles of the wall.

Then I came back to reality. Scared that I had wandered into my fantasy so long. Scared because for 5-10 seconds my brain had its own thought processes. I almost expected to come to with blood on my body and an unconscious man laying at my feet.

So I went to another shower and felt the at first too cold and soon too hot sting of an awful shower.

Well played evil twin… well played

Monday, November 22, 2010


Dear November 22,

I don't know if you got the memo, but most of us expect certain things from you. 1) It should be below 45 degrees. 2) If you choose to bring awful weather, it should be snow, ice, and sludge.

Currently it is 75 degrees outside and there's a thunderstorm. I probably should not see lightning and thunder and I definitely should not be seeing rain right now.

See, I ride a scooter. It's hard to ride in the rain. It's especially hard when my mask is fogging up and there's Christmas lights everywhere that reflect off the fog completely blinding me from the road.

Just thought I would pass the memo on so you could correct this by tomorrow.


Sunday, November 14, 2010

Hello old friend

I've been busy lately... or course that's what I always say.

I find myself talking to myself a lot lately. I've been so incredibly busy since around February, that I've felt like I've been losing myself. I've become a 9-5er (errr rather 11:30-8er) and I come home, I plop down on the couch, my mouth hanging open, and play games until Sallie gets home.

Then a few weeks ago something popped inside my brain. A short circuit, or rather a jump start as I like to think of it. I've returned. My internal conversations have gone something like this.

"Hello old friend, I've missed you. We really should catch up. "

Here's the thing, I've had time to write in the past couple weeks, but I've had a creative burst lately. I've been fine tuning old stories I had, started a few new ones. I've been missing this creative burst since we left Myrtle Beach, but now its back with a vengeance.

I've been stuck on this world where all those things that most people say are make believe, are a part of society. I've started a few stories in this universe where there are super heroes, vampires, and fable characters are functioning parts of this society. The problem is, I always wanted to write the next great American novel. (Of course, every writer wants to do this) You don't normally write the next great American novel with the Wolfman running around.

Most artists aren't appreciated during their time, well writers of Science Fiction and fantasy aren't often recognized during their great grand children's time.

You either score like a J.R.R. Tolkien or people form a cult around your writing like L. Ron Hubbard.

So I'm glad the creative streak is back. These ridiculous fantasy stories seem to be where my brain is at right now, so I'll ride this out and see where it takes me. At least I'm more likely to have a movie made based on the book than people that write those serious stories.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

That Time of the Year

Its that time of the year again. The time of over eating, present giving, and Christ childs being born. To those of you that have been asking, here is my list. You'll notice there's more practical stuff on here this year. I know, I surprised myself a little. In no particular order, here is the list.

Comic Books

Hellblazer: Fear and Loathing – Garth Ennis

Dark Knight Returns – Frank Miller

Preacher Vol. 2: Until the End of the World – Garth Ennis

Marvel Civil War

Resident Evil Volume 1

Resident Evil Fire and Ice

X-Men Noir

Daredevil Noir

Wolverine Noir

Iron Man Noir


Metro 2033 – Demetry Glukhovsky

A Cook’s Tour: Global Adventures in World Cuisines

Medium Raw: A Bloody Valentine to the World of Food and People Who Cook - Anthony Bordain

Harry Potter Hardback Books 1-6


Intelligent Cube – PS1

Rock Band 3 – Xbox 360

Civilization V – PC

Valkyria Chronicles 2 - PSP

Dead Space 2 – Xbox 360

Kitchen Stuff

Square – flat griddle

Hanging Wine Glass Rack

Knife Magnet

Hand Blender with attachments


Sauce Pan – Medium



Borne Trilogy

The Pacific

Lord of the Rings Trilogy

Iron Man 2

Batman Begins



Laptop (Dell gift certificates toward a laptop)

Resident Evil Hunk Action Figure

Resident Evil Zombie Action Figure

Vinyl Clearer

Good turn table


Ramones - Ramones

Greenday – 21st Century Breakdown

David Bowie – Ziggy Stardust

Against Me! – Searching for a Former Clarity

New Amsterdams – Kill or Cured

Perfect Circle – Mer De Noms