Monday, August 17, 2009

Detoxing: Day 1

If overcoming a drug addiction is even twice as hard as what I'm doing, those people deserve their drugs.

Woke up early this morning (thanks to Slider, earlier than even planned) and immediately was told to drink warm lemon water, dandelion tea, and about a pound of berries.

This actually held me over until lunch at 1pm. I thought to myself, this isn't going to be that hard.

1pm: Eat by far the worst salad I've ever had in my life. Not only was there no dressing, but it contained three of my least favorite veggies: sprouts, celery, and cabbage. I choked that down and washed it down with an enriched veggie broth.

2:30pm: Have a short lived fantasy about me going to Lion's Choice and eating a roast beef sandwich while I have pineapple pizza delivered and finish it off with a Snickers bar that has been in the fridge for several hours. It was one of the best fantasies I've had to date.

3:00pm: I'm arguing with myself over what sounds better Butterfinger or Snickers.

3:15pm: I decide they both sound equally good and that its time for me to eat another smoothie.

3:30pm: Found something worse than the salad. This smoothie tastes like onionots. That's a carrot/onion baby for those of you who don't know.

4:30pm: Eat a banana. Besides the pineapple juice, this is the best thing to touch my lips today.

This was already horrible, but add the 14 times I had to pee today, and you have yourself a standard Monday.

I'm also realizing something. Most of Sallie and my relationship is based off of our love of food and how it tastes and feels and makes us feel. We're being cordial to each other because of an unspoken understanding that we are both miserable, but we both keep snapping at the littlest things. I can't wait until Thursday when we start eating real food again.