Sunday, January 4, 2009

Cheap Cologne: The Smell of Desperation

What an eventful weekend!

Friday... well I guess Friday wasn't eventful. We fell asleep before 11.

Saturday: Woke up at 10 a.m. This is the latest I've slept (and the longest I've slept) since the sweet life of unemployment in Myrtle Beach. I felt like I had less than 5 hours of sleep. So I chugged about half a liter of home made energy drink, (It tastes like half Red Bull and half sugar free Red Bull.) and out the door to car shop.

For those of you that don't know, the Mitsubishi stalls more than it runs now. It doesn't stall at convenient times like when we're in a driveway or on a road with no cars. It stalls in the middle of the busiest intersection whilst a firetruck tries to make its way through. We scream curse words, turn the engine again, and are up and somewhat running in a minute and a half.

We hit some car lots in St. Charles so we could take a side trip to my old home. We parked our car in between three used car lots. This bitter taste of desperation and cheap cologne coated my tongue and I desparately searched for gum as the first salesman approached us.

The first lot we stopped at was a lot I had luck with 6 years ago when I bought the Malibu. It was very obvious that this lot has changed since the last time I was there. A man in his mid-40s with a deep Nascar loving accent shook my hand and then talked to me about birds pooping on all of his cars all morning. It took 5 awkward minutes of him following us around before he asked what he could help us with. By now I had already decided that this graveyard of SUVs and Trucks wasn't where I wanted to be, but I couldn't be a jerk to this guy and ditch him. I told him we wanted four doors and he made the comment "oh, you having kids soon?" If I had water in my mouth, I would've spit it all over this man. Instead I acted as if I was interested in this black Trans Am he really wanted me to drive away with. After staring at the car for what must have been a full minute, I took the mans card and walked away knowing full well that I probably would never come in contact with him again.

The next lot was mostly the same except this dealer seemed to have already given up the fight. Before he shook my hand, he threw his business card my way. In the pocket of other people I would never call back it went. He asked us what we wanted and Sallie made it clear that we weren't buying yet. The moment someone else entered the lot he moved on like a shark.

The last lot was by far the funniest of the day. A guy younger than both Sallie and I assaulted us after we had only looked at a van and two over-priced cars. Instead of asking what we wanted, he said, "Why don't we step inside and see what I can do for you?" My brain stopped for several seconds, but when I came to, Sallie was also telling this guy that we weren't buying yet.

I realized two things: Car shopping is a sexist activity. I was always the one confronted, and she was always granted the ability to wander free. And second, no matter how sleazy someone is, I can't tell them to go-away. If Sallie weren't there... well I wouldn't be typing this because I would still be at the lot talking to these people. (Or hitting my head on the steering wheel on the car I just bought to end the pain)

We finally found a decent car lot around the corner from us. Some guy named Gent from Europe was honest with us, told us what cars were worth it and which weren't, and left us alone unless it was obvious that we had a question. He had a great Audi that I think we are considering. If nothing else we are now considering Audis as a potential car.

We then took our British friend Rob to his first hockey game. The Blues didn't disapoint with a 5-2 win. Beat the hell outta the Cardinals game we took him too over the summer. (13-0 Cards loss)

Sunday: Woke up late, had a good breakfast, got free Blizzards from Dairy Queen, went to Target, cleaned the house, and are now winding down for bed. Weekend is over!

Attention Brotherhood of the Traveling Shirt Member:
I don't know if anyone got my lottery tickets. The post man is just as likely to have taken them. We've had a couple things mysteriously disappear in the hands of several postmen this year. Although... our neighbor did just build a huge house and bought a new car...