Monday, February 24, 2014

Social Media Parents part 2

On April 25, 2013, I posted about how Social Media Parents annoy me.

It's seems a new generation of mother had their first born recently and ... I just... I just can't look away. I get so incensed over about half their posts, but I cannot bring myself to hide them from my feeds. It's like I need something to be angry about sometimes.

So these mom's are posting more often and about more ridiculous, mundane stuff. It's just getting worse as smartphones make it easier to share pictures or posts.

And with the sheer amount of posts, I'm realizing that white American baby, looks like white American baby. (At least for the first few months.) If you took the names off the posts and told me a kitten would be shot if I couldn't name the family that baby came from, we'd have a lot of dead kittens.

Here are some posts, slightly altered to hide baby identities.
"Baby had some wheezing. Doctor is having us take her to the ER. Children's or Cardinal Glennon?"
Really!? Really? You're told to take your baby to the hospital immediately, and you crowd source what hospital you take them too? Guess what, most hospitals are going to be equipped to handle a wheezing baby. Pull up Google maps, find a hospital with a good rating within 10 miles of your house, and go.
"Baby is so interested in tv, I don't even remember what was on last night. (And I know kids under 2 aren't supposed to watch tv)"
This was followed by a dozen close up pictures of the baby watching TV, making slightly different expressions. My guess is that your baby loves television so much because it let's her escape her crazy mother for a few minutes.

Then I have a friend that just says "Goofball" about 7 times a week and posts a picture of his kid climbing on a cabinet to get cookies or spinning in an office chair. Get a thesaurus buddy. And guess what, your kid doing that stuff isn't that crazy. Since the invention of office chairs, humans like spinning in them. And if you show me where cookies are, I'm going to find a way to get to them.

This young mom created a Facebook page for their baby and makes posts as if from the point of view of the baby.
"I sure hope to make my play date at some point today. - With Baby 1 and Mother"
"Look Who's Talking Now" made it hilarious, you make the talking baby creepy.

And my favorite, the person who knows they are about to make everyone on Facebook without a kid throw up. This was posted during prime dinner time.
"Disclaimer: friends without kids, you probably don't want to read this. Poor baby is having blowouts every.single.morning. We are changing pajamas and sometimes sheets daily. Sometimes its out back, sometimes up the front. The doctor is not concerned, but I am. How do you handle blow outs?"
And what follows is 19 graphic comments about other mother's poop covered sleepwear. Some of this stuff rivals journals coming out of World War I talking about the effects of mustard gas.

I guess these mom's are probably a little lonely and looking for some sort of social circle. But most of what is posted can be looked up on Google and form a private Facebook group for you and the other mom's to discuss what you get from Starbucks and what brand of diapers you use.