Updates so hot, they'll burn your kitchen down

A few weeks ago Sallie had a late night craving for some hash browns. She asked me to accompany her in the kitchen. The wok became hot, obviously because stoves will do that, and she grabbed the kitchen towel to protect her hands.

"Sallie, the towel's on fire."
"So I was saying to my mom..."
"Sallie, the towel's on fire!"
"And she was saying..."
"SALLIE THE TOWEL IS ON FIRE!"
"What?"

Sallie casually looks down at the kitchen towel in flames and then freaks out for a moment, and beats the fire out on the kitchen counter. Luckily I had recently cleaned it, otherwise oil residue probably would've lit the whole kitchen on fire.

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Fast forward to this weekend. Again, Sallie is cooking breakfast foods, this time omelets for both of us on Sunday morning.

Now I can't be mad about this near disaster because she was trying to multitask and do her laundry while she was waiting for butter to melt. What she didn't realize was she had the stove on high and her laundry took longer than she had expected.

Enter Dan: I walk into the kitchen that I notice is getting smoky. Look to the stove and see a two foot high buttery flame from hell desperately trying to grab hold of the ceiling. Since its an oil fire I can just put it in the sink and turn it on, so I grab the pot and bring it outside so it can burn itself out before the smoke alarm goes off.

Too late, it starts beeping like crazy.

I quickly run outside with the flaming pot to see that it is in fact pouring rain. So my thought of not adding water to the oil fire was useless. I tried to keep it away from the rain, but it was that sort of sideways rain that no matter how much roof there is over you, the water still finds its mark. Needless to say the oil fire became pissed and was making all sorts of angry popping noises.

At this point Sallie came upstairs, realized what happened and started laughing hysterically. I joined in once the flame went out. The pot is ruined, but what can you do.

The moral of this story, really more of the question of this story: How did Sallie not burn her house down before she met me?

In other news, Sallie and I are going to take a super savers mini-vacation to some cabin in Tennessee over Memorial Day weekend. Should be relaxing if nothing else. If someone wants to come check on the cats once over that weekend, please apply here.