Monday, March 9, 2009

Watch the World Cave in

Whenever I think of St. Charles, the first memory that comes to mind is of me sitting on my bed, staring out the window into a rainstorm. I know its either right after I moved or after a death because I feel so lonely. Its a depressed, stippled feeling that I can't shake. I don't know why out of the four years of memories, this is the one that sticks with St. Charles.

This is how I sort of see the world today. Week to week am I going to have a job? Will it matter? Will we be blown to hell by some group angry at us as a country because of some ancient rivalry or because some bearded leader says so? I know every generation has their nuclear scare or looming world war, but somehow the present time feels more intense.

The world economy is of course collapsing. No one has job security, which means people are more stressed, angry, and blindly violent. Military forces start to swell. Egos are flexed. The next thing you know we're at war. What brought us out of the first Great Depression? World War II! What will probably bring us out of what most politicians calls a "recession?" World War III!

Everything seems to be falling apart nowadays. Iran is stock piling nuclear weapons. North Korea is launching satellites. China is aggressively trapping our surveillance ships. Russia is putting on a smile for now. And our politicians can't stop fighting over who's right and who's wrong. We're headed down a slippery slope. One that only has one conclusion. War...

On the micro level I'm happy. I have a great job, friends, wife, money for once, but then everyday the larger picture interferes with my happiness.