We Both Know

I wait just late enough to where I know we probably won't see each other. Its not like I'm sitting around doing nothing, I have people over from a previous engagement, but the several times they ask if they should leave, I don't shoe them out.

I call her phone, but no one answers.
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I wake up and try calling her again. I promised we would do lunch, and this was one thing I really wanted. It had been so long since we laughed in the same room.

She answers in the pleasant "I miss you, but I can't make our appointment voice."

I play along and put a little more regret in my voice, "This sucks. I hate that we are so busy. I wish we got to hang out."

"Yeah I know, maybe next time."

We both hang up feeling good about not hanging out, but letting the other person know that we do want to hang out with them. We both are too busy, growing up. Whereas 5 years ago, I would drive an hour and fifteen minutes on an idle Sunday just for lunch. Now we are lucky to share a smile as our cars pass on the highway.

I hang up the phone and breath deeply.

Sallie asks, "Are we going to have lunch?"
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Besides that the weekend was busy but good.

The Dungeons and Dragons experiment turned out to be a good one. Everyone was laughing and having a great time. We plan on meeting sometime around Easter weekend for part two of our quest.

Mizzou got to the Elite 8, had everyone optimistic, and then lost. Louisville also lost which would've been my second choice. Basically my bracket is done for. I no longer have a team in the tournament. I didn't expect much, but I thought I'd do better than I did.

This week should be interesting. I'll either find out I have a full time position or if I'm still sitting in the contractor chopping block. We had another round of layoffs last week. So its a weird dynamic at work right now. Some of us are applying for full positions as some of us wonder what next.

Idle Nerdiness

Welcome Aunt Laura to the wonderful world of my blog. You get to start out with one of the greatest you can... one where I show how much of a complete nerd I actually am, even as a 24 year old.

Sallie and I all of a sudden had all this extra time once I stopped working 50-60 hour weeks, so we loaded up the car and took a trip to Louisville. It was fun and well worth the trip, but ever since then it seems like we've been catching up on time we spent. Its like some sort of sick currency. Once you catch up, a bill you forgot about appears and bankrupts your time bank.

Basically, we're back to where we were in February. Often too tired to do anything too productive (Thanks largely to a cat that sleeps while we works and bothers us while we sleep) we've started family videogaming nights. After talking about how great Resident Evil 5 is, Sallie picked up a controller and into the world of survival horror we went.

We've been killing zombies and buying weapons for a good 5 days now and Sallie is actually good at the game. She's a mean support character with her shotgun, laughing manically as she shatters the head off of an attacking monster. The best part is when she gets scared and jumps. Make me feel like this game was well worth the purchase price.

Another nerdy thing going on... I can't believe I'm going to admit this... is this weekend Sallie and I are going to play Dungeons and Dragons. This is a game you're supposed to get into when you're 12 and too scared to talk to girls. Instead, I'm 24 years old and jumping into a world of Orcs and Elves, where my brain creates the fantasy landscape.

I figured I'm going to try it out. See if I like it. My brains been craving a creative outlet lately, but I've been too tired to actually write. So maybe making stuff up as I go will be good for me, jump start my brain again. This happened to me before, where I got a sort of writers block. I used to draw all the time and then I woke up one day and didn't have any ideas. Then I used to play guitar and write songs all the time until I convinced myself I was no good. I'm not ready to give up writing just yet.

For those of you that want to know... I'm considering being a Human Paladin and Sallie plans on being an Eladrin Ranger. In non-nerd terms, I will be a religious healer and Sallie will be a deadly assassin.

Growing up in Bellefountaine I didn't have much time for Dungeons and Dragons. I was too busy getting my bike stolen and hoping not to get shot at school.

In non-nerdy, responsible adult world: Sallie and I bought a few pieces of furniture this weekend and finally got rid of all of our plastic furniture from college. I think its the true status symbol of growing up. Rubbermade should only be stamped on trashcans and laundry baskets, not drawers and organizers.

God hates Remote Access

Today I had what I thought was a hilarious/ironic/somewhat awkward issue at work.

I had a guy who for an hour I couldn't get connected remotely from home. It was the first time he tried and he had a corporate laptop.

I went through the normal do you have Google/Yahoo/MSN toolbar or Itunes installed. All of which block out remote access client.

After the "You sure?" "Yes, I'm sure." dance for a good 15 minutes and doing the reboot I remoted on his computer and found that he had a Christian Radio toolbar installed.

I started laughing. God can protect you from demons, guide you through life, perform miracles, and create entire planets, but he sure as hell won't let you remote into work from home.

Unfortunately the guy didn't think this was as funny as I did. I told him what went through my mind (almost word for word what I wrote above) and laughed a little. The guy sat in silence and said, "I don't get it."

"Sir, God in association with Christian radio, is blocking your remote access. We need to uninstall your Christian radio toolbar or you can't get in."

"That's ridiculous. I use that, I don't' want to uninstall it."

Essentially, instead of living the dream and getting to work from home, this guy refused to delete a direct link to mostly bad music. I guess I have to give him some props for sticking by his convictions, but if I could work from home, I'd not only delete my Christian radio toolbar, but I'd probably delete a cat.

Watch the World Cave in

Whenever I think of St. Charles, the first memory that comes to mind is of me sitting on my bed, staring out the window into a rainstorm. I know its either right after I moved or after a death because I feel so lonely. Its a depressed, stippled feeling that I can't shake. I don't know why out of the four years of memories, this is the one that sticks with St. Charles.

This is how I sort of see the world today. Week to week am I going to have a job? Will it matter? Will we be blown to hell by some group angry at us as a country because of some ancient rivalry or because some bearded leader says so? I know every generation has their nuclear scare or looming world war, but somehow the present time feels more intense.

The world economy is of course collapsing. No one has job security, which means people are more stressed, angry, and blindly violent. Military forces start to swell. Egos are flexed. The next thing you know we're at war. What brought us out of the first Great Depression? World War II! What will probably bring us out of what most politicians calls a "recession?" World War III!

Everything seems to be falling apart nowadays. Iran is stock piling nuclear weapons. North Korea is launching satellites. China is aggressively trapping our surveillance ships. Russia is putting on a smile for now. And our politicians can't stop fighting over who's right and who's wrong. We're headed down a slippery slope. One that only has one conclusion. War...

On the micro level I'm happy. I have a great job, friends, wife, money for once, but then everyday the larger picture interferes with my happiness.

Punk Rock Princess

Last Wednesday I brought Sallie to her first punk rock show ever when we saw Flogging Molly at the Pageant.

Actually, I think this was our first non-Jonus Brothers show we went to together.

Anyway, Sallie got into the Mosh pit with me. I didn't write about it yet because there were more important things to talk about this week and I had to see how long the lost voice and general soreness would last. It wasn't as bad as I expected, but Sallie still has bruised shins.

She was also initiated. Every concert goer to the harder rock shows has to at one point accidentally get their hand stuck in the armpit of the shirtless guy, try to pull it out, but only he can release you. Then, once you pull it out, you stare at your smelly sweaty hand, throw-up in your mouth a little bit, and keep your arms as close to your body as much as possible.

She had fun and I think will attend other punk shows with me... assuming they are a bit more pop than punk.

Something else I've been conflicted about: I've noticed that libraries have recently started getting comic books and Nintendo Wii's in order to trick kids into reading.

Now, I love both comic books and Wii's. Therefore I like that tax dollars are buying these.

I think some comics are actually better written than some novels. Some videogames are better written than most novels actually.

I hate that kids have to be tricked into reading. Doesn't look good for my future career. I guess there's always the Hollywood option. I can be one of those underground writers that gets my work published. Some college campuses talk about it. A few English teachers force their class to read it. Then some pompous Hollywood type hears about it on Opera, pays me a million dollars, ruins my work, and I go on book tours talking about what bastards the people in Hollywood are.