Thursday, February 26, 2009


Today a few friends at work and I were discussing Jesus. This is one of those conversations that should've happened while smoking pot.

So, Jesus knew/knows everything that has happened, is happening, and will happen. So he knew how delicious Pepsi was 2000 years ago or that Disco would reign for 10 years and then suck forever after that.

We came up with a scenario where Jesus is walking through the desert with all of his disciples. Its something like 110 degrees, they are dying for a miracle. Jesus murmers under his breath, "This would be a lot easier in a car."

"What was that Jesus?"

"Oh, um, nothing. Just can't wait for the stars that's all."

I wonder if Jesus let stuff slip to certain people. Maybe to mess with their heads. "And I say, the Raiders will win the Superbowl in 1983."

"Uhhh... hum, not really sure what that means Jesus, but what are we going to do with one loaf of bread. People are hungry."

"BLAMO! You now have hundreds of loaves of bread..." people clap, "and the Beatles will at one point be more popular than me, but soon apologize for being blasphemous."

Everyone got puzzled looks on their faces and shrugged their shoulders.

"I don't take offense, the White Album is genius. I wish you call could hear it. I really do."

There has to be a reason Egyptians had paintings of aircraft in tombs. They didn't just guess.

I mean, that blows my mind. God is a programmer. He created language, humans, animals, universe. He created code that would bring about war and curse words. He knew what he was doing all along. Are we just a program created in Visual Basic. Are we Earth 1.0 and waiting for an upgrade?