Sunday, December 28, 2008

Christmas Past

I've never come up with a New Years Resolution. At least not and officially sanctioned one. If I were inclined to improve myself it was always several days afterwards. I think I got that from my dad. He always has had a distaste for the commercialization of holidays and would find anything any reason to celebrate them days before or afterwards.

I've more or less done the same every year.

This year though I will have several resolutions. I've become a 45 year old man 20 years before I should.

Who am I? I've got rings under my eyes, my keyboard is only used to enter cook books recipes, my gut is larger than my wasteline, and I never have energy anymore.

This hit me hard this Christmas. Its the only holiday I enjoy celebrating with family. All of the rest of them I could do without. But Christmas was always the time of year I would ask off for a couple days. This Christmas, being low on The Man's totem pole, I couldn't get off. For the first time in 24 years I missed Christmas Eve at my grandmas. I didn't even get to spend more than 45 minutes with my family the Saturday before Christmas. This used to be a five day block of seeing everyone I cared about, having meals, laughing, and exhanging gifts. This year I only spent a few hours the Saturday before and Christmas with any family at all and on both occasions I was so tired and stressed out that I couldn't truly enjoy 'em.

It was a pretty good Christmas, what I did get of it though. Its a hell of a lot better than it probably would've been in Myrtle Beach. (Where they enjoyed 70 degree weather)

This is why I need to make resolutions. I have to schedule activities that used to be fun. I'm going to come up with an intense writing schedule. I'm going to get into shape before summer this year, so summer isn't an uphill battle, its normal routine.

It's sad that I have to do schedule these sort of events, but life has been so chaotic and busy that its necessary. I will have official goals and resolutions by New Years. It will be your job to keep me in check.