I had crazy dreams last night about a girl that I used to work with for a short period of time at Noodles. It was nothing sexual, so this blog remains "PG-ish." This girl was always really nice to me and I hung out with her every now and then, but she had a reputation. Obviously people get bored, rumors started a-flying and I backed off a bit. But last night after having this dream about her I realized that she had tried to reach out to me for help several times. I don't know exactly why she reached out for me, it was probably because I was willing to listen with a non-judgemental mind and give her legitimate advice and options. I woke up feeling extremely regretful and guilty. I think its because it only occured to me three years later how much she wanted help, and at the time my personal persuit of love blinded me to the fact that this other human needed me. I wondered what happened to her all day long. I know her "reputation" was bothering her and she wanted to shed it, but the last time I saw her she was stumbling drunk at the popular bar in Columbia, making out with the definition of a frat boy. I started wondering today if she ever salvaged herself. I wondered how much of an affect I could've had on her, had I invited her out with my friends. I think she just needed a way out, and she was looking to me for that.
I remember one of the last time's we actually talked with sober minds, I was telling her my favorite movies of all time and talked about how much I loved Garden State and she wanted to see it. I told her we would have a midnight viewing after we got off work and she was extremely excited. Unfortunately I decided that I would hang out with someone else hoping that love would blossom from it and ditched the noodles girl at the last minute. I felt horrible about it today. I guess it was something that never occured to me before.
On a lighter note, since joining the "rat race" I've noticed where all those comedian's jokes about bad drivers come from. Today I witnessed three overused jokes on the way to work. First I literally almost ran into a lady putting on make-up while driving. Then I was stuck behind an old man going 30 MPH under the speed limit. And before I finally got to work, their was a guy in front of me looking around his car like a bomb was attached via "Speed" style where if he went under a certain MPH he would explode. He ended up opening and shutting his door while swerving. I can only imagine the intense beeping coming from this guys dashboard telling him he was an idiot and had been driving with his door open. I'm seriously lucky I didn't get rammed on the short drive to work.
One another note with driving, one of the other people driving had one of those Jesus fish on their bumper. I will never have a Jesus fish on my bumper. You know why? Because those people drive like jerks usually. They think because they spent $10 on this metal bumper decoration that God will project them no matter how horribly they drive. My mom put a metal medalion blessed by the archbishop of the patron saint of traveling, St. Christopher, on my sun visor to protect me and I already felt my driving jerk level had risen 150%. A Jesus fish is worse than St. Christopher hiding under my visor because A) At least St. Christopher was kinda cool unlike a loop-de-loop line representing a fish and B) no one else would ever know I had that unless a police officer was pulling my charred remains from the wreckage of my 1995 Chevy Corsica. (Which by the way was a tank. Was hit like 9 times before they finanly totaled it.. only totaled becasue replacing the passanger door costed more than the car. How hardcore is that?) Anyway, thats my Jesus fish rant for now. I guess I always kind of wish I had a spike strip in my trunk to take those people off the road or at least a crowbar so I could remove them from cars in the mall parking lot because even if they are driving good... I'm having "nam" like flashbacks of Jesus Fish drivers cutting me off whenever I see the sun glare off of it.
3 years ago