Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Why I hate summer

Most people know I hate summer, especially summer in Missouri.

There's the obvious things like the humidity and heat. I hate mowing the lawn. The sun burn on my scalp. But the thing that gets me the most are the invisible creepy crawly feelings.

I was out running tonight and I had a constant feeling of mosquitoes landing on me and biting. I was slapping my skin, itching the surface, basically looking like a crazy person freaking out in public.

I got home and took note of the damage. None. I didn't see a single bit. I've been so conditioned over 26 years to spazz out at the mere feel of a mosquito that I have phantom bites. I don't know if its the mosture or sweat, but something sends the same nerve receptors off.

The other invisible bastard is spider webs. These are a little harder to deal with. Once you hit one, you feel them all over your body. Every step you take feels like another web stuck to you with scary spiders slowly crawling their way up your arms wanting to lay eggs inside your ears. F that!

When there's six inches of snow on the ground and the wind chill brings the world down to ten degrees, I can be damn sure that there aren't any spiders or mosquitoes out. Life is good cause I know they are all dead below the ground.