Sunday, January 23, 2011

The End of Circuitjerk

Circuitjerk was born on September 9th, 2008 out of my ego for seeing my own written words out on the internet and for a deep seeded love of informing people about things I know a lot about.

Media Whore was the interim name for the blog that was going to be me discussing technology, videogames, comics, movies, television, podcasts, etc. Basically anything I would love to discuss with people.

Within a day I had emails coming from multiple friends wanting in on the blog. I think at the beginning we had something like five regular writers.

It spent only about three weeks as a super low budget, side-blog to this one. Neil and I decided to go legit. We purchased the Circuitjerk domain and for the next two and a half years, we were pretty good about getting at least three days worth of content a week on the internet.

We had months where there were 70 people going to the site a day and months were we only had 12-15. But we had fun doing it.

We had guest writers to fill gaps for a while, but eventually everyone faded away. It always seem to come back to me and Neil. Fans wanted to read more and more, and we felt our duty to the fans was to fill that content.

Professional videogame journalists say that its hard to hit deadlines, specially with some games taking 40-60 hours to complete. We didn't have the luxury of getting paid for eight hours a day to play and write about games. God I wish I did though.

We probably should've killed the site long before, but it's like when you have that really intense romance with someone that eventually fades. You don't hate the person, but you know its not the same. You're more in love with the memory. As with the song below, its the remorse of the loss of a feeling.

Neil wrote me tonight saying what we both sort of already knew. He could no longer continue the shame. We would end it on the Game of the Year 2010 list. The perfect punctuation of what has been a great memory in my life. It'll be something I never forget.

It's still incredibly hard to walk away. Sometime I've poured so much time and heart into. I've shamelessly promoted for years now. I guess my mind didn't want to grow up. I guess I thought I could always been a part of one of those sites that seemingly comes out of nowhere and is an internet sensation for just a blink of an eye. That's all I wanted was that recognition for that one millisecond in internet time.

So I guess all that there is to say is, "It's not you, its me. Maybe if we were in different places, with more support, this could've worked. But Circuitjerk, I still want to remain friends and hope that we can. With all my love..."