Fifteen years can really sneak up on a person. I can't believe Sal and I are already at this milestone. In my brain it still feels like we're sitting pretty around year eight or so.
I was looking for the oldest picture I have of Sal and I together. I know a couple exist when we were dating, but I apparently don't have any of them. Instead, I have this picture from our first wedding, in the back of Willikers in St. Charles, which is permanently closed because of mold.
Sal looks great for having literally gotten off a plane and getting married. I on the other hand took terrible advice and shaved my beard and look like a potato head.
It all started innocent enough. AOL Instant Messenger. (AIM)
Sal and I had a lot of mutual friends. We somehow kept landing in the same Spanish class at Mizzou, but we really didn't interact until Spanish 3. (I was intimidated because she hung with the smart kids and I had some real hard imposter syndrome in Spanish)
We had this just absolutely insane teacher for Spanish 3. The type of teacher where you would walk in and she would tell you to turn in homework she never assigned or tell you to turn to a chapter you already went over. If you've ever seen the Goonies, she looked and acted like the housekeeper from the opening. Not a great combo for someone that already has no idea what's going on in the class.
I was one of the last ones to class because I was usually opening the restaraunt beforehand, so I got sat up front in Spanish 3. So when the crazy started coming out, my only move was to turn around and say, "What the hell is going on?" And staring back at me was Sal and another girl, Rachel, who would both shrug and make me feel better and worse.
After class, Sal, Rachel, and I would all walk downtown because we all worked at restaurants. It was a five minute walk, nothing too deep, but that's how we started talking.
The week before Thanksgiving break 2006, I was sort of hitting people up on AIM to see who was going to be around the following week. I was generally the only person left in town, so I was looking to see if there was anyone to hang out with, and Sal was that person.
I suggested that maybe we meet at Flatbranch the Thursday before break, when all finals were finished and have some celebratory beers. (Flatbranch being the only brewery in town at the time) I didn't think anything of it. Literally just wanted to get a couple drinks and have something to do.
That's when my legendary roommate Adam Hinds asked me if it was a date. Something I hadn't considered. I had technically asked a woman out for drinks, even if a date wasn't my intention. And I thought about it and figured, "Well, if it's a date, that's probably fine. I'm sure we'll have fun and if we don't, I'm done with Spanish now and never have to see her again if I don't want. If it's not a date, then my original intention is still intact."
But I needed a plan for just in case I showed up and she had friends, so I asked Adam if he would come incognito. He was going to come in a minute after me, look at the table we were at, and see if it was just me and Sal, in which case, he was going to leave. If I was at a table of people, he would join us.
Well, Sal wasn't sure what it was either. So she brought her two best friends, her brother, and his best friend. Despite not really knowing each other, and the people we brought not knowing each other at all, we actually had a really good time.
One by one people left to go to work, go to bed, go play Halo, until it was just Sal, Adam, and I watching some weird Claymation cartoon about how the dinosaurs died back at my house. And that's when we setup our next hangout, which slowly evolved into dates.
We weren't exclusive yet. We both had a full dance card.
She had a guy she had been seeing a little bit before me. She had an ex-boyfriend that was still very much trying to push his way back into her life. She had a friend that she went on a few dates with.
I was dating a coworker. Someone I chatted up that was walking by our house one day. And a friend of a friend.
So we kept it casual, but were having a fantastic time while doing it. And slowly we both started to realize we were seeing those other people less often.
Sal and I finally had that conversation, you know the, "What are we" conversation. And Sal told me she wanted to keep things casual since she hadn't been out of a relationship that long.
Then came the thundersnow of 2006. Rob Brown, my English friend, having never seen real snowfall before in the UK, and also not knowing snow and lightning at the same time was a thing, stood on our front stoop and said, "Is this the apocalypse?" Snow came fast and hard, but we were 22 and invincible. So instead of getting groceries and getting ready to bundle up and in, I met up with Sal and Matt at a party around the corner from my house.
Again, Sal and I were in a lot of the same circles before we started dating. I had actually been to this house a few times for parties and one time even stole a mix cd I found sitting out. This was the friend Sal was hanging around a lot and sort of dating/not dating the summer before we met. Have no idea how we didn't run into each other sooner.
Eventually, Matt overdid it a bit, and I walked him back to my place. The snow now was too deep for anyone to drive or even walk across campus home. So Sal and Matt crashed in the two lazy-boys we had in our house.
The next morning, Matt trudged his way through the snow without Sal. She stayed behind, I think partly because I got it in my mind that I wanted Lion's Choice, and I was determined to dig Lindsay Baish's SUV out of the snow to go get some, and Sal was intrigued by this dedication to roast beef sandwiches.
So I start working on the driveway. Meanwhile, Sal is inside getting grilled by all of my roommates' girlfriends about what we were. And in some cases, threatened if she broke my heart. They were very protective of me.
We did make it to Lion's Choice to find it closed. So in defeat, I returned home, where Sal was waiting for me, and she sort of said, "I guess we're a thing now."
That's how official it was. I later found out, Sal was a little reluctant to date me because I was such an alternative guy with all my piercings and tattoos and she didn't want to be that alternative couple.
And from there, gas was spilled on our relationship and everything burned bright and quickly.
We got engaged on our one year dating anniversary.
We graduated college a few weeks after that.
We moved Sal across the country a week later.
And we got married a few weeks after that.
I moved across county a few days after that.
Lot of life lived in those weeks.
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