Wednesday, December 4, 2013


I have a hard time sleeping. I'm constantly tossing and turning. My back will hurt sometimes. The littlest noise wakes me up. I have to go to the bathroom like 50 times a night. And if a fan is blowing across my bald head, forget it, I can't get comfortable.

Luckily, there's Ambien...

Just kidding. I hate that stuff. Only took it twice when I was injured. Felt like I was having out of body experiences.

The only thing that truly helps me sleep is affectionately called "gray blanket."

Back in 2004, I lived with two roommates who loved the cold. Now, most of you know that I LOVE the cold. But these guys LOOOOOVVEEEDD the cold. And in order to save a few dollars in the winter, they refused to turn our heat up over 55. I even caught them at times with the heat off and their windows open.

That's great and all, except I had a handicap bedroom that faced the front of the apartment. Which means, huge window taking up most of the wall my bed was on.

So I didn't get much sleep for a while that winter. I was sleeping in my blue jeans, hat on, jacket on, four or five covers on top of me. It was miserable.

My parents visited some time in early December and flipped out at the conditions. Next time I came home, there was gray blanket waiting for me.

Gray blanket is nothing special. It's a gray, mostly polyester blanket from Kohl s. But it's so warm and soft and it's mine.

It's the only blanket not shared between Sal and I when we sleep. Gray blanket is wrapped around me as if a blizzard is going to come through and bury us, and I want to be discovered 500 years from now, perfectly preserved, in gray blanket.

I didn't realize how much I actually need gray blanket until last night.

I hadn't slept a great night of sleep since last Wednesday. It was bad enough to where I had to slap myself awake on the drive back from Madison. I slept hard Monday night, but woke up feeling like I had a "no sleep" hangover.

So I was worked up about getting proper sleep last night. I stayed away from all screens for 90 minutes before bed. I read. I took a bath. (Yes I did, with bubbles) I was ready to pass out early.

But when I tried to go to bed 30 minutes early, I found no rest. I tossed, turned, was cold, then hot, could hear cats snoring, car alarms going off, I could see a little street light poking through the curtain. Basically, I was so worked up about getting good sleep, that I got no sleep.

But then, I reached over and grabbed a newly cleaned gray blanket. I tucked it under the comforter, and within 10 minutes, I got the best sleep in a week.

So yes, I am essentially Linus. And gray blanket is starting to fall apart. And I'm going to be sad when it does.