Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Recovery Day 12

Today I had to fight with something I didn't even consider with the recovery process, withdrawals from the Oxycodone and Muscle Relaxers.

In the hospital, I was on something like 120-150 mgs of Percocet or Oxycodone a day, plus pretty heavy muscle relaxers.

The first week I was home, I was taking about 100-120 mgs of Oxycodone and about 20 mgs of muscle relaxer.

I decided last week I wanted to start cutting down on how much I was taking. Mostly because I needed something to help me sleep and you can't take narcotics and sleeping pills at the same time. I also wasn't feel much pain anymore. Just discomfort and stiffness.

Probably last Monday I cut my Oxy down to about 50-60 mgs and muscle relaxers to about 10 mg every other day. As the week went on, I eventually got it down to only 5 mgs of Oxy and no muscle relaxers.

I haven't had any Oxy since Saturday.

Yesterday, Sallie set me up outside for about an hour to read and get some sun light. She went for a run while I sat there and I remember feeling really emotional to the point where I almost wanted to cry. But I sort of forgot about it and went on reading.

This morning I woke up and was shaking. I felt really weird and extremely emotional. I would just start crying for no reason. I had no idea what was going on.

The only thing I could think of that would be good was to sit in the shower with the hot water running on me. So there I am, sitting on my shower stool, hot water running on me, totally crippled, when all of a sudden I realize that this is the lowest point in my life. So I start crying again, and then I realize that I'm naked and crying in the shower, which is my new lowest point.

Sallie had to go to work today and I was still feeling the effects of my emotional roller coaster. She left and I just sort of sniveled around for a while.

I'm finally now feeling semi-normal again. Everyday there's new crap I'm dealing with. Everyday my resolve to get healthy ASAP strengthens. If my doctor told me killing a puppy and rubbing its blood all over my leg would heal me two weeks quicker, I would do it right now. Seriously, this is lame. But, another week down. Tomorrow will be 2 weeks since surgery. I have somewhere between 6-10 weeks before I can walk again. The countdown has started in my head.