Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Reasons my Wife is Awesome and Recovery Day 4

I've had a lot of help from a lot of people in the past few days, but no one can match Wifey. She's had to deal with my every request, ache, and discomfort 24/7. Here is a list of reasons she is awesome.

1. She dumps and cleans my urinal without a second thought. This is gross. I would possibly vomit all over the disabled Sal.

2. Inevitably the moment she sits down, my body will start twitching or hurting and she will have to get back up and adjust something.

3. She's been dead lifting my leg, which currently weighs 5,000 lbs, to help me up and down on every piece of furniture.

4. She stands behind me as I hobble to the toilet. Helps me get my shorts off. Waits for me to be done with the bathroom. Pulls my pants back on. And somehow still finds me attractive enough to kiss.

5. She hasn't once lost her temper even when I'm in pain and can't tell her how to fix it.

6. She brings me ice cream once a day.

7. She's been keeping my pill schedule. Otherwise I would be laying on the floor from over use of muscle relaxers.

8. She not only let's me call her Dr. Salmonster, but embraces is.

9. She encourages my painkiller nap time each day.

10. If I moan like a beached whale in the middle of the night, she hops to, readjusts me until I'm comfortable, and then go back to sleep.

11. The normal stuff that is left over from the wedding: smart, good lucking, funny, blah blah blah...

12. She's in desperate need of some wine, but hasn't drank pretty much anything so that she can help me if the need arises.

13. Always serves my food first, even if she is the hungriest.

14. She changes my disgusting gauze everyday.

15. Her hair is red. Sorry, like to even out my lists and the painkillers are blocking my more creative answers.

Update on goals:

1. I've stayed neutral today, which is sometimes the best I can do. I'm not sleeping full nights right now. I'm getting 2 hours here, 3 hours there. It's not just how much I want to sleep on my side, but my leg is very stiff even though I stretch it all day long. The muscle relaxers help temporarily, but there's usually 4 hours where they aren't doing much work. My boot and my elevator pillow just aren't working right.

2. I almost hit 50 degrees. I don't think 90s degrees is going to happen by Thursday. It's partially the swelling and partially because I don't think this brace isn't on exactly right.

3. Swelling has done down significantly. Mostly still my knee and ankle. The back of my leg hurts the most. It's starting to rub on the back of my brace and not feel happy. Been trying to ice that up.