Crash was a weird one. Whereas Slider was always up in everyone's face and Newbie was such a soft-spoken, cuddler, Crash watched from the 2nd floor landing like Batman. People were aware of Crash and in some cases made it their mission to make Crash like them, but she wasn't underfoot or laying in the middle of the room while we hung out. She didn't want to be the center of attention.
Crash stayed upstairs, away from people. She had a few favorites like my college roommates and my mother. But I don't think Crash has made a friend in damn near 15 years at this point.
She was a sewer cat that got separated from her litter. One of my roommates girlfriends found her. And Sal and I decided to adopt her.
Now, Sal and I were in absolutely no place to be adopting an animal. We knew we were going to get married, but we also were in housing that didn't allow animals, about to move across the country, and I didn't have a job yet.
But we were dumb, young, and invincible, so why not take a cat in?
Crash was originally named Sushi. It was a good name, but other than Crash being small like a piece of sushi, didn't fit.
Crash came by her name honestly. I had a computer desk at the time that sort of had one of those cheap shelves that hung above the monitors by two cheap poles on either side. When Crash was small, she climbed to the top shelf of this desk while we weren't paying attention, when all of a sudden, we see this little gray ball bounce between my desk and the wall all the way to the floor, making the loudest crashing noise as she did it.
Once we realized she was OK, we had a good laugh, and Crash was her name. (And since, all of our cat names have come from something they've done or their personality.)
We would sneak Crash between our apartments in Sallie's backpack. This little gray cat loved riding around in her backpack. We never had to fight her to get in. She'd climb right on in, pop her cute little face out of the zipper hole, and be happy as can be.
When Crash was at my place, I'd go home for lunch between classes. I'd cram a sandwich in my mouth and then sit on my futon mattress and play guitar. Crash would always come snuggle up next to me and just listen to me play.
She was always a very musical cat. She really liked music from the 60s and 70s. You put on some Beatles, she'd appear from nowhere and lay in the middle of the room just to take in Abbey Road.
We moved to Myrtle Beach right after graduating college. This is when Crash started having her signature snot and breathing issues. I don't know if it was something in the air in South Carolina or if it would have happened either way (I'm very aware she was a sewer cat), but this was when she started a 17 year streak of perplexing every vet she saw.
Sal and I had grownup jobs. I was gone from 7 am to 3 pm and Sal was gone from 2 pm to midnight. We weren't home as much and we didn't have roommates to pick up the slack, so we thought, "Crash needs a friend."
She did not... in fact... need a friend. She had already made all of the friends she ever wanted. Slider and her tolerated each other at best.
Sal and I were not in Myrtle Beach very long, but we did visit Missouri while in Myrtle Beach. We didn't have good enough friends to have someone check in on the cats, so we bought a very cheap, gravity fed, automatic feeder. I don't think I need to tell anyone, but Crash was incredibly intelligent. She just understood how things worked.
We came back and Crash was sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor, surrounded by a mound of food, looking really pleased with herself. She had figured out if she stuffed her little paw up into the food dispenser, she could essentially get unlimited food.
Crash also loved car rides. When we drove back after giving up on the Myrtle Beach dream, an epic 20+ hour trip, Crash happily bounced between napping on our luggage in the hatch back or sitting on the passengers lap with her two paws on the window, legit smiling with her little gray lips.
She tried really hard to be a loving cat when we lost both boys. She started sleeping in bed with us and playing with us, and forcing us to pet her. Again, she's very smart, she knew what happened, and she was trying to fill a void as best she could. You would almost see her sense of relief when we brought Moxie and Maestro into the picture. She no longer had to be the number one cat.
Crash hated the cold. In the winter, she would climb up on the couch and force herself as close to you as she could. As soon as the temps started warming up in the spring, she didn't need you anymore. She'd find a sun beam and bake herself at 120 degrees. It was like she was charging a battery.
Crash had been slowing down. There's been several Christmas's where we thought, this is it for our girl. She's not making it to the next. We figured she'd will herself to the afterlife the moment she felt the cold in her bones.
And then Spring would roll around, she'd lay in a sunbeam, charge her battery, and she would be back at it.
The past week or two, she was sleeping 22 hours a day. Barely eating. Looking slightly confused like she had dementia.
Crash had these creepy human like eyes. Everyone was convinced she wasn't a cat, but no one could agree on what she actually was. To me, a human that was reincarnated. To Sal, an alien. The only time she had cat eyes was in the moments she was sitting in the hallway, seemingly not remembering what she was doing. And then her eyes would click back into place and she'd go about her business.
We had our 40th birthday party and Crash saw pretty much everyone she had ever liked.
She got to see mom.
She got to see most of my college roommates she grew up with.
She got to listen to a fantastic soundtrack all day.
The sun was out and she got to lay in it.
We kicked the last party person out around 2 am. Sal and I went upstairs to shower off, and Crash was sitting in Sal's office.
I don't know what compelled me to go pet her, but I sat next to her for a few minutes just scratching her neck. She was purring wildly. I rubbed her forehead between her eyes. I told her good night and off I went.
A few minutes later, Sal was finished showering and did the same. Even picking Crash up and putting her on her heating pad.
At some point between 2:30 am and 6 am, Crash moved from her heating pad to the landing outside the bathroom door.
When Newbie was sick, I read somewhere that cats start laying in places they didn't normally hang out at when they are entering their final stages of life. Might be something where they don't want their family to have to deal with their death. Maybe they just want a quiet, low traffic spot to call it.
Crash laid down outside of the bathroom door, a place she had only recently started hanging out. She laid on her right side and just passed. It was as if she felt at peace getting to see all of her old friends one last time, listening to music all day long, having a perfect sunbeam shining into the room. It was more or less the most ideal last day little Crash could've had.
I found her around 6 am. Moxie was sitting on top of the cat tree, looking down on her older sister. Moxie was always checking on Crash, so this was a very normal thing. But I realized this was Moxie's last watch. I knew Crash was dead before I touched her, but still I went to pet her left side to make sure. She was still warm. If it wasn't for her eyes being open, you would think she was just sleeping.
She looked more peaceful than she had in years. Her nose was weirdly clear. In one final act of destruction to our carpeting, she dug a single claw into it so we had to trim her nail to wrap her in a towel for transport to the vet.
I couldn't have asked for a better way for her to go. I was dreading taking her to the vet to be put down. I still have nightmares about Newbie's face when we had to make the call for him. I didn't want anymore nightmares, but I also understand that's the contract we have when we invite these animals into our house.
Crash, I hope you felt like you had a great life. I know it was hard being sick for 17 years, but we tried to make you as happy and as comfortable as we could.
Breathe easy now little one, you earned the rest.
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