Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Being Crippled

I think the hardest thing about my injury is having to deal with people treating me like a cripple. I'm only a temporary cripple, so I can't imagine someone that is bound to a wheelchair and having to deal with other people treating you differently.

For instance, anytime I trip or stumble now, Sallie freaks out. I get the "Are you ok? Be careful. What can I do?" I know she's just worried about me, and a trip put me in this situation in the first place, but after awhile, you just get tired of feeling fragile. I snapped at Sal this weekend for doing that, and felt terrible for it.

Also, I have the same conversation 700 times a day if I go into the office. Everyone that walks by my desk stops and has the, "How's the leg doing?" conversation.

You can tell it wears on me too. In the morning, you might get an explanation, or I might tell you how many times a week I'm going to the gym. By the end of the day, they usually get a gruffled, "getting there" and then I pretend to be busy on my computer.

I know there's not really anything I can do and people are just concerned about me, but it's been wearing on my lately. I'm trying to not let it affect me, but I've found myself getting more and more bitter about the whole situation. When I look at all the money I've had to pay, all the time wasted, all the progress I made on my lawn completely regressed to when we moved into the house, I just get angry.

I'm having a hard time figuring out the why.

And then I feel terrible because I know people personally that are worse off than I am and they are able to put on a bright face.

I think for now on, I'm going to take a deep breath, and realize that I will be fine by summer's end and there are some people that will deal with their body issues for the rest of their lives.