Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Wait... You Did What?

So my friend Allie is in graduate school to be some sort of medical professional.

She keeps blowing my mind by causally mentioning stuff she has to do.

So the first instance, while we were talking on the phone, she just drops this bomb in the middle of the conversation.

"So yeah, we were in the lab, and they were asking for volunteers, and no one wanted to do it, so I volunteered and had to cut the cadaver's chest open with a bone saw, and when it was done, my professor..."

"Wait, you freaking cut a cadaver open with a bone saw. Let's stop there and get a few details on this. You can't just drop that in the middle of your conversation."

So, I really didn't think I would ever hear her say anything more extreme than the bone saw incident, but then she blows my mind again.

We were text messaging back and forth for a while, probably a good 45 minutes. Then, there's a five minute silence and I get this text message:

"I took out a f*cking brain this week... it was awesome...and the most disgusting experience of my life."

How do you not start the text messaging with that little tidbit? I wouldn't even say hello to anyone if I had done that. Everyone in my phone would just get a mass text message with extreme details of me taking out a brain.

So I asked for details and this is the response I got:

"I had brain matter all over me. Very messy but probably because out strikers were dull."

Allie is a mad scientist. I am convinced. And I will never cross her ... ever...

Anyway, my friend is awesome and is the only person I can say I know has used a bone saw.

And one last bit of advice, "Did you know you have to cut a V like notch in the skull so you can put the top back on after an autopsy? Otherwise the skull can slide off at an open casket funeral."